JUST LET IT GO
By: Wendy Q.

In every relationship, the loser always turns out to be the one who have not learned to love herself..

At 23, I have loved and had my heart broken a lot of times. I had been a witness to lasting relationships, as well as the hopeless ones.

I have also learned that second chances are not for every one, rather it is only for those who deserve it. One must know when to let go and when to accept love in their hearts. One must learn that not all love stories deserve a second part, for sometimes, a continuation of a failed relationship means re-opening old wounds that might only deepen the scars left by the first try.

At 17, I found myself in love with a guy older than I am at 21. I was nearing the end of my freshman year in college and he just graduated from school. I had been crushing on him at our Parish Church, never once thinking that I might actually get to know him. We met at my bestfriend's house that year, both searching for the other - me, searching the room for this guy that my bestfriend said would come, and him for me, the girl he heard a lot of stories about from his childhood friends.

The moment our eyes met, I knew that we would have a story. And so we did, we dated that summer and decided to have a commitment free dating. Both had a feat at that time and we both know neither of us was ready. We were happy then but I was watchful of his every move and fearful of each coming day. I know one day he will wake up and wonder what he was doing with a kid. Eventually, it came into an end. But it was an end we both anticipated because the timing wasn't right. It was painful yet I moved on. I carried all the memories he left behind and was happy that once in my life, he became a part of it. I knew those days were among my happiest.

I would be a hypocrite if I tell you I never hoped that he will come back. But I know I have loved myself more and was thankful for his part in my life that I managed to move on. I simply held on to the good memories, make myself smile at his simplest acts of sweetness when we were together. I was never bitter because more than anything he made me happy.

He met another and was in a relationship for 2 years. I enjoyed those 2 years enjoying my youth unattached. Never once did I imagine that there would come a time that he will find me once again.

I just turned 20 when he came back. But I was now turning into a lady. I wasn't the kid who fell for this older guy anymore and a part of me sought revenge for the opportunity was there. I was never angry for him leaving, but my ego pushed me to hurt him back so I left him.
But no matter how hard I try to push him away, he was keen on staying, even if a friendship is all that I can offer. But love thus moves in mysterious ways, because destiny paved the way for us to be together again. Cause without any intention, I fell in love with him again and before we both knew it, we're simply caught in the word we never thought we'd ever get to find significant - a commitment.

Last March, was our 2nd year anniversarry, and last May, it will be the 6th year since my first kiss.. our first kiss.

When I look back, I see it all as a dream, as a fantasy, as my own fairy tale. Who would have thought that after losing someone, we will still be given a chance to rekindle what was once been. And this time it was sweeter, it was bette. It was the right time.

All around me I see people seeking for love. Some are hoping for lost love to find its way back. Others are trying to hold on to relationships even if it no longer makes them happy. Sadly, there are still who doesn't know the meaning of loyalty, nor of contentment. Still, there are still who loves purely, whose lives are filled with love and happiness.

For each and every one, I know not all are lucky to find true love. Not all are lucky to have a second shot on love. Not all are lucky to manage to make a love last forever. But remember, when you learn to love yourself and let go of the past, it will eventually come to you. Believe that fate exists and that God will let destiny pave the way for us to find what we are searching for.

Don't waste your time trying to move on after a failed relationship and getting over your past until you find a new love. It shouldn’t be that way. Instead, learn to let go and treat every memory as a beautiful part of your past that you can go back to and bring a smile in your lips. Learn to love yourself more and expect less. When a love bids farewell, smile and say, "I hope you'll find your way to happiness - and I know so will I.."