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QUOTATIONS OF LIFE The author, Marian, the youngest in the family of 4, was diagnosed to have a stage 3 cancer in December, 2002. She wrote this when she was in the hospital getting her chemo treatment. She was a well rounded person. Active in school activities but never disregards her studies. Since she was studious, most of the time she was part of the delegation team for competition with other schools. Behind the chaos of student life, she never forgot to be of service to the ONE above....
Seeing or hearing news about very young children suffering from serious diseases or undergoing general operations is quite normal for me. I would regularly see them on TV, read them on newspapers or even get the chance to meet them in person. I have always imagined what life's like for these young angels and to be of help to them is one great opportunity that I won't have any second thoughts of doing. But it never came into my mind that someday I'll be able to experience it myself. It was the 10th day of December, 2002 that marked my struggle. I was diagnosed to have cancer stage III. And from the moment I heard the results and when fear had totally enveloped me, I wasn't able to do anything but to cry and get comfort from my father who was with me in the hospital. "I am defenseless... I can't get through this alone": words that have been bothering me all throughout the consultation. For a 16 year old girl having to suffer one of the most serious case ever known today, I think having to accept the situation would really be difficult. With just a snap all my dreams and plans? They're all gone. At first, I thought that it would be the end and that I would live life far different from everybody. I felt discouraged. Discouraged to the fact that I would always be dependent of others and that I cannot be of any service. I was afraid to lose my friends. I was afraid of getting rejected. And I fear that I have to deny myself a lot of things. Yes, it's true there would really be times when I get to be alone and just feel sorry for myself and regret everything that I've done in my past. But it never affected me that much. I got all the support that I need. I'm so lucky to have very effective support groups. From my family, my friends, school, my doctors and even those whom I never expected to have such concerns for me. They brought me consolation and courage. They have helped me gain my confidence and strength back. All possibilities were presented to me very early that I had no difficulty in adjusting. They have prepared me so much that in few days, I just saw myself walking around with a big smile on my face. For a patient like me, having to hear these kinds of results is truly devastating. You have no other choice but to accept it. At first, I was totally confused and depressed by the way things were presented to me. They told me all the possible operations that I'll undergo and even told me that I might have some organs pulled out of my system. This might seem to be a very fast approach but later I thought that having the patient to be fully aware of his/her situation is very important. This would help both the patient and her family to prepare emotionally, spiritually, psychologically, mentally, and of course financially. Everybody showed me that having this kind of sickness shouldn't be a reason for me to give up. Instead, they made me look at it as a big challenge, as a stepping-stone for my dreams. Right now, I have joined church organizations and was given the chance to lead a simple talk with some people of my age about the true essence of life. Truly, your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens. Circumstances and situations do color our lives but we have been given the mind to choose what the color shall be. "With everything that happened to me, I just thought that this could be my own mission, my struggle. And that's what I certainly did. I have chosen a colorful life with GOD".
Contributed by : Mamed Ranjo, sister of Marian
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