ABUSIVE PARTNERS, BEWARE!
"Every woman has her boiling point...."

A few good news on women issues recently hit the headlines. The newspapers had it that for the first time, the high courts had recognized the battered woman syndrome (BWS) as a defense in the case of Marivic Genosa, who killed her husband by bashing him in the head with a steel pipe while he lay in a drunken stupor. (see related article on home) Genosa claimed she was physically and verbally abused by her husband with whom she was married for 12 years.

There are plenty of Marivic Genosa's around us. We meet them everyday but they keep it to themselves for fear of shame or utterly lack of information on what and how to do.

Let me tell you the story of a battered woman. She got pregnant by her boyfriend and they had a love child. She was abandoned by the father of her love child. Soon after,she met a guy younger than her by 2 years. He was married then and she was the cause of the break-up of his marriage when he got her pregnant (again! Talk about responsible parenthood!). The irresponsible bastard dragged her to an abortionist. According to people who knew about their relationship, she was battered. He would speak to her rudely. In their arguments, violence would always erupt. In some instances, a coffee cup would be thrown at her by her live in partner. She fights back though. Both are violent probably due also to the effects of illegal substances they share. The guy is a womanizer in spite of his being irregularly unemployed. She took this in stride, they are still together after almost 3 years of violence. The guy is an ever irresponsible partner. He hooks women who can afford to grant him at least a daily subsistence, just for him though, he never took the woman and her love child by her former partner, as his responsibility. She has a confidant, a battered woman like herself, who landed in a hospital a few times after she was beaten by his jealous husband. Their seeming inaction was probably because they never got 'fresh views' from women who had already awaked to the reality that no one, not even partners have a right to abuse the other.

I got the chance to talk to her and introduced myself as an advocate of women's rights. Her mind was completely closed. She couldn't comprehend what I was talking about. She was too drowned in her emotions that she loved the guy no matter how irresponsible he is. After analyzing her situation, her stubbornness to stick to the relationship may have stemmed from her fear of being alone. After her abortion, she was rejected by her family. She has no one, apart from her 7 year old love child whom she does not know how to take care of responsibly. So, she wanted to stick it out through 'thick and thin' with her abusive partner.

She is another Marivic Genosa in our midst. She can be another Marivic Genosa that could kill her abusive partner once she comes to her senses. "Every woman has her boiling point....", thus runs the ad by Ace Saatchi and Saatchi in its campaign to heighten public awareness against violence on women.

I believe much is still needed to change the public attitude on gender-based violence and abuse. With the legal breakthrough in accepting BWS as a mitigating circumstance, the law at least is catching up with reality.

Now comes our role as femalebattlers. We provide information that would arm us, women, with the knowledge and information to do what is necessary if we are placed in such a situation. A list of institutions is provided in this site (see get help hotlines), where battered women can seek assistance.

The legal breakthrough is a promising development and hopefully if signed into a law, it will now make domestic violence, or the abuse of a spouse, live-in partner or girlfriend or boyfriend a distinct crime. Let us hope Pres. Gloria Arroyo wastes no time in signing the Anti-Violence Against Women and Children Act, into law soon. If fully implemented, perhaps a woman would no longer need to resort to killing to protect herself from her abusive partner.