LOVE IS A DECISION

""I guarantee there'll be tough times. I guarantee there'll be one day when one or both of us would want to get out. But I also guarantee that if I do not ask you to be mine, I'll regret it for the rest of my life 'coz I know in my heart, you're the only one." Everybody was sighing as we watched Julia Roberts say these lines to Richard Gere in an unromantic setting the balcony of a building in bustling New York City in the movie Runaway Bride. A few scenes before that, it was Richard who said the same lines to Julia, likewise in an unromantic scenario, as they were talking about how people propose marriage.

True enough, when we were teenagers it was a question which we loved to answer in slum books. It remains a topic that creates giggles and shrieks whenever friends talk about it. But does one really know what love is? We often mistake it for a crush, an infatuation or sometimes, even for the sheer joy in companionship. Sometimes, we think it's a feeling that we have when our hearts continue throbbing hard when we see that special person. Or when our knees start to shake and begin to weaken.

But can anyone really define love? I don't think so, not even the ones who think they have felt it, or those who are feeling it, or those who hope they will feel it. Not even my philosophy teacher. Because love is not something that you define... it's a decision.

When you feel that you love one person, how can you tell that he or she won't feel the same way for the next person who comes along? Love is not a feeling, it's a decision. 'Coz, when it's a feeling, it is something that floats in the air, something you cannot touch or dare to comprehend.

Love, when it's a decision, makes it solid, makes it a commitment, makes it more lasting and more real. You can feel that you can be in love 20 million times in a day, but when you decide to be in love, you can only decide to be in love with one person once in your lifetime. You commit and you hold on to that decision. And when you turn your back on that decision, it means you were never in love in the first place.

Love should never fade. Because when it does, it means it's just an emotion. Love will never fade because a decision, once done, is something you stand up for and fight for -- no matter what.

What does "I love you" mean? Some people find it easy to say the words but what really matter is being ready to stand up for it when you say those words. Are you ready to face all the consequences after saying those magical words?

If you can say "I love you" long after all the tough times, all the good times and after all the words that come hurting you, then the meaning of those words becomes real.

Of course, I still believe in those words but I myself am afraid to say them. I know there will come a time when I won't be afraid of those words coming out of my mouth. When I will be strong enough to fight for love again. And I can say the words "no matter what".

Saying "I love you" is a major decision in one's life. Those words should be sacred, should be kept in your heart until you are ready to commit, to fight for that feeling and to stand by those words.

Is love a product of destiny? No, I believe there's no such thing as destiny. Thus, if love is a product of destiny, then you choose to love, you decide to love. Your destiny is the path that you choose to take.

I guarantee that there will be tough times. Going back to the movie line that made everyone sigh: Yes, it is a decision to commit, it is a decision to love. And when you decide to love, you should realize that there will be tough times and there will come a time when you would want to get out. And when you realize that love comes with all things good or bad, then you know what love really is.

But there is love...

Everyone waits for love to come into his life. You do not even have to know the meaning of love. Because even without someone to love, there is a love truly waiting for you. A love greater than anything that one wants to feel, greater than what one hopes to happen.

Lack of love should not create feeling of emptiness inside you because there is always this Someone who will fill it up for you.

Just look up.