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Amazing Grace. GROUNDED FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE (The following article appeared in my regular column, BeLOVEd, in the August issue of The Shepherd's Staff, the parish newsletter of The Good Shepherd Parish, Manuela Subd., Las Piñas City - The Editor) You're blessed when you are out of options, and all you can do is lean on God. Because when you realize your need for God, it is only then that you tap into His immeasurable greatness and goodness. You're blessed when you've been stripped of that which is most precious to you. Because only then can you be tenderly embraced by the One most precious to you. Matt. 5:3-5 (paraphrase)
Last week, though feverish, I went on with my daily chores - job, extra job, service to women, working with an NGO, mothering and fathering to my two (2) kids. Fever doesn't prevent me from working, a paracetamol would be taken on the side to take care of the fever, while the body and the mind goes on with the usual task. After four (4) days though, I felt I was like a candle slowly being consumed and my physical strength was about to give up. I decided to consult a doctor. She advised complete bed rest for me to regain my strength. Knowing my lifestyle, she decided to have me confined in the hospital with IV fluids to keep me from moving about. The next four days in my hospital bed was a reality check for me. A frail body like mine with a blood pressure of 170/100 is no joke. As I lay in bed, I recalled events from the past. My mind raced back to months gone by. It gave me the time to reassess my life and the much needed rest that I had been postponing for a long time. I realized I was not being kind to myself. I realized God wanted me to see how badly I had been abusing my body and my strength and how I had been taking my health for granted. He stripped me off with my strength, grounded me and made me lie down in the hospital bed for me to "look up" and remind me that He has always been there for me and that I have no reason to be stressed out. Realization hit me that lately, I had been taking things too much into my own hands, that at times I forget to lift it up to Him. On my second day in the hospital, my friend from Philam, a CFC member advised me that she and her husband would visit me to pray over me. At the same night, some elders of my former CFC ministry came for a visit, likewise to pray over me. Together, they laid their hands on me. As they started singing "Lord Jesus We Enthrone You", I was already crying, I felt God was there enveloping me with His great love. During the healing session, Bro. Ely Adap implored the Lord's mercy for my fast and complete recovery as I need to be back to my service in proclaiming God's word. He said that God has been using my voice to be His voice to his people. (He described my voice like one coming out of an earthen jar!) I was completely moved because earlier this year, I took a leave of absence from my ministry (Lectors) for four (4) months. I just realized how God had been so disappointed with me because my service took a back seat just because I cannot come to terms with myself. I allowed myself to be held back by doubt storms. (Doubt storms are our turbulent days when the future is so uncertain and there is so much pain and hurt in our hearts.) After the pray over, Bro. Ely told me that during the pray over he had a vision. He saw insects flying away from me. It was a symbolism of all the negative energies in me that went away. I believed him because after the pray over, I felt light and recharged - physically, emotionally and spiritually. My experience is something that needs to be told. It is a witnessing of God's merciful love and how He is in control of my life. He showed me that life should never be heavy because He is always there to carry the load for me. I just need to be open to His great and undying love; I just need to trust in His promises. He made me realize that things may not be happening as I wished it to be, but His divine plan will never go wrong. It will always be the best. I had been lonely for sometime. Little did I know that God was using the loneliness to teach me complete dependence upon Him; that I could no longer look to other people for my confidence; that I had no choice but to find my courage and hope in Him. This kind of total dependence on the Lord was preparing me to become more effective for His kingdom and my earthly mission. The moral of the story: Trust God with all your heart. We all know about this, we read this in the Bible, we hear it in church, but sometimes when things do not go our own way, we tend to doubt. We worry so much for things that (chances are) might not happen. This is my story. This is your story. This is a story that happens to each of us at one point in our lives. Let it be a reminder of what He said …. "Be still and know that I am God." (Ps. 46:11) Stay healthy and Godly!
[This column is open to those who want to share how God touched their lives in different ways – as an individual, a parent, a sister, a friend.]
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