Dear Atty. Jeanie Pulido,

I am a mother of a 5- month old baby boy. His father and I were not married. I thought everything will be okay until last December 2002 (I was 3 months pregnant then) when he confessed that he is still married to another woman that is why he cannot marry me YET. He even asked me if I can wait for three more years since their annulment is already in progress at the time. I agreed because what I really wanted was for us to be a complete family. Before he confessed that he was married, I never had any doubts that he's a single man because a lot of his friends knew that he is and because he's an active member of Singles for Christ. He said that they were married in a foreign country, and that only his brother knew of this.


He left last January for Japan to work. At least, that is what he told me. We continued to communicate through e-mail. His e-mails were filled with caring and sweetness, you'll never think that there's something wrong. He even asked me to send our son's birth certificate after he was born last June, so that he can sign the affidavit of paternity at the back of the Birth Certificate. I was able to send it and he even confirmed that he received it. I waited for a month and the birth certificate never came back. I sent him e-mails asking him to return the form so it could be filed immediately. Last September, I filed the birth certificate even without his signature.


I never received anything from him since then. His best friend, told me that he and his ex-wife had reconciled and are planning for a church wedding. You must understand what I had felt during those times. I have never confronted him about this and assumed that he knew that I already found out about his lies. But I still informed him via e-mail (he never gave me his Japan contact number) every time I update our son's web page, and I know that he's getting my notices because my e-mails for him never bounced. I also e-mail him every time I change contact details just so he won't have any reason for not getting in touch. Unfortunately, my old mobile phone was stolen and so I lost contact with the only common friend we have. Many times, I have stopped myself from calling their house here to ask if and when he'll come home.


If you'll ask me if I still love him, the answer is no. How can you love or even respect someone who has given nothing to you but lies of such proportions. I could easily choose to lay this case to rest and live in peace with my son. But I have plans for myself and better plans for my son. I want to give up my current job and study law. I want my son's future to be secure while I fulfill my dreams for us. The only way I can think for that to happen is to seek financial support from him. But I'd like to know if anything in the Law can prevent me from doing that. Will this case be worth fighting for?

Help please. Hear from you soon.

Thanks and more power! It's heartwarming to know that there are lawyers who care about women issues.

Christina Santiago

Atty. Jeanie S. Pulido's Reply:


It is clear from your story that your son has not been officially recognized by his father. In order for an illegitimate child to be entitled to support from the father, the mother must be able to establish the child's filiation to the alleged father. Thus before we can talk about the right of the child for support from the father, you must first initiate steps to have your son acknowledged by his father. You must look for some other credible proofs of even tacit recognition of your child by his father, which you may use against him.

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Very truly yours,

Atty. Jeanie S. Pulido
Website : www.philippineslegalservices.com
Email: jsplaw@philonline.com