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Dear Atty. Jeanie Pulido,
I am a mother of a 5- month old baby boy. His father
and I were not married. I thought everything will be okay until
last December 2002 (I was 3 months pregnant then) when he confessed
that he is still married to another woman that is why he cannot
marry me YET. He even asked me if I can wait for three more years
since their annulment is already in progress at the time. I agreed
because what I really wanted was for us to be a complete family.
Before he confessed that he was married, I never had any doubts
that he's a single man because a lot of his friends knew that he
is and because he's an active member of Singles for Christ. He said
that they were married in a foreign country, and that only his brother
knew of this.
He left last January for Japan to work. At least, that is what he
told me. We continued to communicate through e-mail. His e-mails
were filled with caring and sweetness, you'll never think that there's
something wrong. He even asked me to send our son's birth certificate
after he was born last June, so that he can sign the affidavit of
paternity at the back of the Birth Certificate. I was able to send
it and he even confirmed that he received it. I waited for a month
and the birth certificate never came back. I sent him e-mails asking
him to return the form so it could be filed immediately. Last September,
I filed the birth certificate even without his signature.
I never received anything from him since then. His best friend,
told me that he and his ex-wife had reconciled and are planning
for a church wedding. You must understand what I had felt during
those times. I have never confronted him about this and assumed
that he knew that I already found out about his lies. But I still
informed him via e-mail (he never gave me his Japan contact number)
every time I update our son's web page, and I know that he's getting
my notices because my e-mails for him never bounced. I also e-mail
him every time I change contact details just so he won't have any
reason for not getting in touch. Unfortunately, my old mobile phone
was stolen and so I lost contact with the only common friend we
have. Many times, I have stopped myself from calling their house
here to ask if and when he'll come home.
If you'll ask me if I still love him, the answer is no. How can
you love or even respect someone who has given nothing to you but
lies of such proportions. I could easily choose to lay this case
to rest and live in peace with my son. But I have plans for myself
and better plans for my son. I want to give up my current job and
study law. I want my son's future to be secure while I fulfill my
dreams for us. The only way I can think for that to happen is to
seek financial support from him. But I'd like to know if anything
in the Law can prevent me from doing that. Will this case be worth
fighting for?
Help please. Hear from you soon.
Thanks and more power! It's heartwarming to know that
there are lawyers who care about women issues.
Christina Santiago
Atty. Jeanie S. Pulido's Reply:
It is clear from your story that your son has not been officially
recognized by his father. In order for an illegitimate child to
be entitled to support from the father, the mother must be able
to establish the child's filiation to the alleged father. Thus before
we can talk about the right of the child for support from the father,
you must first initiate steps to have your son acknowledged by his
father. You must look for some other credible proofs of even tacit
recognition of your child by his father, which you may use against
him.
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Very truly yours,
Website : www.philippineslegalservices.com
Email: jsplaw@philonline.com
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